The woman’s hands snaked around my breasts, tape measure extended to figure my bra band size. Then again for my cup size. After years of bra straps sliding off my shoulders, I’d decided to get properly fitted bya saleswoman at an intimate apparel store.

Then she grabbed a black underwired bra with broad straps off a rack. "Go try it on, then I’ll come see how it fits."

Off I went into the only empty one of six saloon-doored fitting rooms. I stripped off my black ribbed knit top, then pulled down my straps, wiggled my bra around until the hooks fell under my breasts, and finally unhooked the dratted enclosure. Do you suppose that this unconventional method of unfastening has contributed to the rattiness of my well-worn undergarments?

I reversed the process to don my new Wacoal bra. The straps didn’t fall. But the bra didn’t look great. There was a big pucker in the silky fabric of one cup. I tugged at it, but couldn’t improve the fit. Apparently lots of women have unbalanced chests. But it didn’t make me happy to discover I was one of them. I paced the stall, sat down, got up, paced, peeked out the door to see if the saleswoman could consult with me. I’d been in the stall for five minutes. Then I began the process again, pondering my maladjustment.

It’s not enough that my tummy wants to flow over my waistband and my hips demand jeans fabric with lots of give. My boobs can’t even fall into place. 

I thought enviously of my friend Maggie with the itty bitty breasts. "I’m an A cup," she told me the other day. "Sometimes there are even little indentations in the cups that don’t clear after I put on my bra." Yeah, but she also has a sweet little figure.

I turned around and looked in the mirror. Somehow, the fabric over my cup had straightened itself. Something about my movement had done the trick. Maybe I could buy a bra after all. Then I looked at my watch. I’d been in the stall for 10 minutes. The saleswoman was never going to show. But I’d come back, perhaps on a weekday when business was slower. I’d join the ranks of adult women who wear bras that fit.