My Back Yard

My nutritionist has suggested I go off eggs in any form because I’m "allergic" to them.

But just for one month. After that, I can try them again.

Her idea is that allergies lead to inflammation, which leads to fat creation. Apparently this theory is embodied in The Fat Resistance Diet by Leo Galland.

My allergies are not evident to me, according to the testing service, because "IgG antibodies are associated with delayed hypersensitivity reactions, which are difficult to detect. These delayed or "hidden" food allergies can cause chronic symptoms. Since IgG reactions occur several hours or days later, there may be no obvious associations between food consumption and adverse reactions." 

Does any of this make sense? 

If I had the vision of a squirrel, I could have avoided humiliation by Chip in ninth-grade biology.

Unlike humans, "squirrels … have sharp vision across the entire retina, which allows a motionless squirrel to see clearly what is next to it and above it at the same time withouth moving its head. Thus, a squirrel could read the small print of a newspaper with its peripheral vision," according to Squirrels: The Animal Answer Guide by Richard W. Thorington Jr. and Katie Ferrell. 

I could have used squirrel vision when Chip, one of the popular boys, asked me "Do you hate opera?" Flattered by his inquiry, which obviously was inspired by the sticker to that effect on my Hebrew school textbook, I focused my gaze on his broad, freckled face. Chip didn’t usually talk to girls like me. I was a bookworm who wore a retainer and glasses.

Enraptured, I didn’t notice his long arm snaking around the back of my chair and lifting my pocketbook. At least not until his friend Johnny snickered and pointed.

Sigh. I knew it was too good to be true.

If only I were a squirrel, I could have used my "four chisel-like incisors" to chomp down on his wayward paw.